Merry Christmas, Jessie!
by Isella of the wolf tribe
Summary: OK, so, the Akatsuki just decide to kick down the front door, terrorize my family, waltz right into my room, just to say "Merry Christmas!"? I mean, what the hell!


Merry Christmas, Jessie!

I heard the front door to my house slam. I stopped spinning in my chair for just a moment and listened.

"Where is Jessie?" A male voice said.

"Who are you?" My mom asked. No answer.

"Tell me where Jessie is, now, or we won't hesitate to torture you." I heard the clank of metal. I gulped, but stayed where I was.

"What are you planning to do with her?" My mom asked again. There was a slight hesitation of an answer.

"It's none of your business." The man said. I ran into my closet, the safest place I could think of. I heard my door slam open, as a ton of people walked in. The closet doors opened, to reveal... The Akatsuki?! I gasped.

They smiled evilly.

"Merry Christmas, Jessie!" Tobi yelled. Deidara turned and strangled him.

"Tobi! We were going to do it together at once!" He yelled. I stood up.

"Um..."

"Here." Before I could say anything, Sasori headed me a wooden box with a wooden bow on it. I took it. I walked out of the closet, the Akatsuki parting for me. Then I sat on the bed.

I opened the box. Inside was a block of wood and a carving knife. I smiled.

"Thanks, Sasori, but I don't know how to carve." I said. He pulled out another block of wood.

"I'll teach you." He said. Itachi walked up.

"Here." He said. I took it, coserned at what it would be, but nonetheless curious. I took out the stuffing and took out a necklace with sharringaans on it.

"Tha-thanks..." I said. Konan walked over next. She handed me a bunch of paper cranes and roses. Then she handed me a packet of origami paper. I guess she wanted me to do some of my own.

Then Hidan walked up.

"Uh-oh." I said.

"What do you mean, uh-oh?" Hidan said.

"I hope the present isn't blood." I replied.

"No." He said. "Actually, It's me not cussing for the entire time we are around you." He pouted. "It was Konan's idea. Here." He reached behind him and grabbed something, and handed me... A small scythe. It was entirely black, and only had one blade instead of three. Also, it had a bow. I took the bow off and laughed evilly.

"Can you teach me?" I asked. Hidan smiled and nodded.

I looked to the door. Deidara was pushing in a humungus box. I smiled.

"Here." Deidara said. "This is from Tobi." I shivered. I walked over to the box and peeled off the tape. At the last second, when the tape had just come off, the box shot open.

"Merry Christmas, Jessie!" Tobi yelled. "Like your present? It's me! I'm your present!" I giggled. A hand was placed on my shoulder. I turned and saw Kisame. He grinned, then handed me a box the size of my fist.

I opened it, then saw a smaller box inside. I opened that box, and inside that was an even smaller box. I groaned as I opened that. Inside was an envolope. Inside the envolope was a smaller envolope. Inside the smaller envolope was a card. The card said:  
Dear Jessie, like the gift so far?

"So far?!" I asked Kisame. He grinned even wider. Attached inside the card was a folded note. On the note, it had a poem.

"What's red, back, and never smiles?" I read aloud. I thought a moment, then looked at Itachi. He shrugged, then handed me another note.

"I'm in the yard, house, and wherever you go. Who am I?" I was super confused at this one. What, er, who was everywhere I was? The only person that was everywhere I was was, well, me. "Me." I said. Kisame frowned.

"I was sure that would stump you." He said. Then he smiled again. Here. You deserve it." He pulled a bag out from behind himself. In it was two mini sharks in a small plastic water filled bag. Pein went over to my desk and set a scroll on it. A fish bowl popped up. I smiled. Then Zetsu walked up.

"Here." He said. Handing me a large white wrapped gift.

"No, here." The black side said, handing me a small black wrapped gift. They started arguing on who's present I should open first. I quickly took both and opened them at the same time. Inside the one from White Zetsu was a bunch of dragon snap seeds and a small flower pot. I smiled.

Inside the one from Black Zetsu was a little black ceramic fox. I placed it on my desk.

"I love them both, Zetsu!" I said happily. He smiled and backed up, making way for Pein. He walked forward and gave me a flat box. I opened it up. Inside was an Akatsuki cloak. He then handed me a hat with a bell, and some Akatsuki shoes. I tried them all on. They fit perfectly. Then Pein gave me another box. I opened it to find a Amegakure headband with a slash through it. I put it around my head and smiled.

I took the straw hat off and set it down on my desk as Deidara stepped forward. He gave me a card. I frowned, then read it. I smiled, then squealed with happiness. I hugged Deidara really tight. He turned to Kakuzu.

"Pay up." He said, hand reaching toward him. Kakuzu furrowed his brows in anger, then reached into his pocket and pulled out twenty bucks. He was about to hand it to Deidara, but stopped.

"She hasn't gotten my present, yet." He said. Deidara frowned. I was still hugging Deidara, watching them speak to each other. Kakuzu left the room, then came back in with a scroll. He placed the scroll on the bed and summoned... A frying pan. Everyone face palmed right then. Jessie walked over to Kakuzu.

"You stole this, didn't you." I asked. Kakuzu didn't reply. I picked it up. It was so light. Then I grinned evilly, turned, and smacked Hidan. He fell over, unconscious. I gasped, looked at the pan then turned to Kakuzu.

"I love it!" I squealed. But I refrained from hugging him.

"Deidara's or mine?" He asked. "Which is better?"

"It doesn't matter. But I'd have to say, yours is funnier," Deidara started pulling out some money. "But his was cooler. Something I've always wanted." Deidara grinned, put his money back, and gained ten bucks from Kakuzu.

"What did Deidara get you?" Konan asked.

"You don't know?" I asked everyone shook their heads.

"Deidara kept it a secret from us." She replied.

"He gave me a free lesson to learn how to do art." I said.

"It's not art." Sasori said. Deidara turned to him.

"Yes, it is! Art is an explosion! Art is fleeting!"

"No. Art is eternal."

"Fleeting!"

"Eternal."

"Fleeting!"

"Pay up." Kakuzu interrupted. Deidara and Sasori stopped and looked at Hidan giving Kakuzu ten bucks. That ended the argument.

After the art lessons and everything, the Akatsuki were sunk. They slept over at my house. As I awoke in the morning, they were gone. I thought it was a dream, until I saw the presents all over the room. I smiled again. _I'll never come up with something for them!_ I thought.

I walked over to the door and opened it. I smelt breakfast. Red and green confetti fell in my face as I opened the door. A paper flew into my face. 'Welcome to the Akatsuki!' It said. I laughed. I went into the kitchen and gasped. There was a buffet of breakfast items. On the table it said 'From the Akatsuki' I laughed once again.

I never saw them again.


End file.
